What's The Big Idea: Eldra Jackson III: Hurt People Hurt People. Healed People Heal People.
“When I was living from a place of hurt, I went through 30 years of hurting people. When I got to place when I began to heal I not only started to become healed myself, I created spaces where other people could find it in themselves to heal too.”
Today’s guest: Edra Jackson III
Their big idea: Hurt people hurt people. Healed people heal people. Unlearning the dangerous lessons of masculinity.
Eldra Jackson III is a spiritual warrior who lives a passion of "saving lives one circle at a time." After living most of his life devoid of emotions and coming face-to-face with the reality of dying behind bars, he came to a point of self-inquiry, seeking answers as to how his life had spiraled into a mass of destruction set upon self and others. From this point, the space was made to save his life.
Today, Jackson works to bring his spiritual medicine into the world while simultaneously guiding others to tap into their own internal salve and help identify wounds. Through his intensive awareness work, he is on a mission to show the world what's possible as each person does their own internal examination to begin the path towards emotional and psychic health.
Listen to What’s The Big Idea on your preferred platform below:
Key insights Shared:
The first round of incarceration and each time following that was like “going away to crime college” for Eldra. The system and the people he interacted with continued to reinforce criminal behavior and further point him towards a life of crime.
What does being incarcerated to the mindset? What more people should know about this experience?
For the most part, in the USA the prison system is not designed to support or heal, it’s designed to break or crush inmates.
85% of people who are incarcerated will return to normal society. They will return to their communities. If we think about the process of dehumanizing people and then sending them back into the community as a broken person.
Are we focused on punishment or rehabilitation? How do we think of a system that will release healthy people?
Who is doing the best job of rehabilitating people? Scandinavian countries
Norway has a maximum number of years someone can serve in a correctional facility. For the domestic terrorist who committed the 2011 Norway Attacks with a semi-automatic rifle, his maximum sentence is 21 years and immediately as soon as he enters prison, the system works on rehabilitating him. What are the things in his background, in his psyche to kill people? They deal with that over the course of two decades so he can be reintroduced into society. The only way he can do more time than 21 years is if a panel of doctors determine it’s not safe to reintroduce him.
Crime isn’t the problem: “Addiction is not the problem, it is the result of a problem”- similarly, crime isn’t the problem, it's the result of a problem (education, poverty, etc.) how do we solve the underlying problem in a community or individual to reduce incarceration.
Michael Vick went to jail for running a dog fighting ring - If those dogs got out onto the street after Vick was brought to jail, we as a society would have understood why they were acting that way. They were trained to be violent, they were beaten and raised to be afraid.
We understand that these animals needed to be rehabilitated before they were placed in a new home.
Elrda’s rock bottom moment: He felt addicted to criminal thinking and was in prison for a life sentence - his moment came when he was in the SHU (solitary confinement) for two years for assaulting another prison with a shiv. Inside the same facility with Charles Mason and Sirhan Sirhan and Elrda was deemed even more dangerous. It was at this time Eldra realized something had to change.
What is the impact of being in isolation for two years? “It's a mental chess game, me against the administration, it was me against the government. It was all about turning myself into the most proficient weapon possible” As Elrda describes, social isolation is designed to punish and break prisoners and he was driven to survive the experience and come out even stronger.
Becoming spiritually sharp: Finding a stillness from within himself is something Eldra found during solitary confinement. Being able to be “in the zone” and able to separate himself from the chaos around him. Aware of it, but not affected by it.
Meditation as a form of self-defense against the solitary confinement.
The Disappearance of The Universe: How the idea of the ego plays a significant role in the decisions individuals make and how to kill the ego - this book was an important moment of awakening for Eldra.
Joining Inside Circle: An organization that helps incarcerated people develop mentally and emotionally much like men’s groups. Joining Inside Circle was a turning point for Eldra, it allowed him to “battle the demon that was me.”
In that first circle: Going into it, Eldra wasn’t resistant, he understood that this was “grown man conversation, not the run of the mill yard gossip.”
How to take that first step in doing men’s work: giving them the invitation to share themselves openly without fear of being mocked or ridiculed and creating a space/container where they will be safe. Also understanding that if someone feels uncomfortable they have the right to speak up.
Speak as comfortably as they are willing to, and provide the space where they can talk. Most people want to be heard.
The importance of the container: What are the aspects of creating safe spaces where people can earnestly express themselves?
One is speaking from the first person perspective “I” - This is important to get into the practice of owning your own emotions and experiences.
Speaking your truth: You need to allow people to speak honestly about what they’re feeling. This isn’t an invitation to disrespect someone “‘Andrew’s a punk, that’s my truth.’ ‘No, that’s your opinion, but that’s not true.’”
Bringing together both men and women for group work: You need to bring everyone together around the table and have a discussion about what safety looks like. It’s wrong to assume you know how to accommodate everyone from every walk of life. The container demands that you remain flexible and can make space for everybody. If something comes up and a women needs something, we will defer to the decades of experience that other women and Women Within have with dealing with people.
How do we define masculinity in these settings?: Masculinity is a part of maleness but it’s not necessarily an aspect of being a man. We need to question aspects of traditional masculinity that are attached to maleness because we exercise them and express them as an integral part of our manhood.
To learn more about Eldra and his work:
Visit Inside Circle’s website
Watch Eldra’s Ted Talk